I mentioned last week that one of my readers signed me up to receive updates from OneNewsNow, a joke of a news organization associated with the American Family Association that provides the most conservatively biased accounts of news you can imagine. Now, you don’t have to.
They claim to pull their stories from AP News, but it is SO easy to see from the language that quite a bit of bias is injected. It has been so amusing to read these newsletters throughout the week that I thought I’d start a new feature where I showcase some of the most absurd articles so that my liberal, freethinking blog audience can experience the same laughter. All of the following headlines appeared in emails I now receive daily from the OneNewsNow Editor. Here, now, is the first edition of Zack’s Friday Fundamentalist Farce File.
2/14/2009 – Young woman booted from team for being straight
She claims the coach, who is allegedly lesbian, took issue with her heterosexuality.
Also worth noting is that 63.40% of OneNewsNow readers are most concerned “that the mainstream media would be all over this if the roles were reversed (i.e., scholarship revoked because player was gay).” Of course, the OneNewsNow version omits the fact that an appeals committee upheld the decision.
2/15/2009 – Pro-life pastor prepares for sentencing
“His approach was simply to carry a sign that said ‘Jesus Loves You. Can We Help?’ and offering those who wanted it some information about alternatives to abortion,” Howard explains.
If you do a search for Walter Hoye, you’ll find a whole lot of folks praying for him. It was hard to find news about the story that wasn’t overly biased. What actually happened is he violated “The Bubble Law.” Even though this source has its own bias, here is an article detailing what happened a bit more objectively:
02/16/2009 – Transgender janitor shocks elem. school parents
Camenker believes parents are also fearful of liberals in the community and finds it troubling there is a climate of fear against speaking out. He adds that on the reverse side of the letter, school officials listed radical homosexual websites in order for parents to get more information on “transgender issues.”
The worst part is probably the survey about how the school should deal with questions about transgender employees: 37.38% feel the school should “Avoid the issue – dismiss employees who undergo sex-change surgery/therapy”. I have to at least give the article a little credit for using the appropriate language to discuss transgender identities, minus all those obnoxious quotes, of course.
02/17/2009 – Why no ‘nuclear’ push in stimulus package?
“So the government wants to force wind and solar energy on us,” she deduces — then explains some negatives associated with the two technologies.
“The frightening thing is these are two energy sources that have not proven themselves to be efficient or reliable — and the people who are going to pay for this is the American public,” says Watson. “Especially if President Obama is able to bankrupt the coal industry, as he has indicated during the election that he would like to do.”
I don’t think I need to say any more. Wait, there’s one more little gem:
With nuclear energy, Watson says one does not have to worry about cloudy days or days with little to no wind — as one obviously would have to with solar or wind energy.
There seem to be a lot of bright folks over at the Independent Women’s Forum. I don’t know how you can advocate for feminism without challenging gender roles and patriarchy, but they must have convinced themselves that they can.
02/18/2009 – Book appeals to atheists, Christians alike
“And all I want [is] for people…to be open-minded — if they’re sitting on the fence — to realize that it’s very easy to prove God’s existence. You cannot have a creation without a Creator; you cannot have a painting without a painter.”
Sorry, Ray, inductive reasoning does not equate to evidence. This man has absolutely no understanding of science or atheism. If you need more evidence of Ray Comfort’s insanity, watch this enlightening interview if you dare.
02/19/2009 – NASA official ‘off the deep end’ on coal
Another article about foolish perspectives on sustainability!
James Hansen, director of NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies, recently called coal-fired power plants “death factories” and the trains that transport coal “death trains.” The remarks — made in an article published in The Observer — included the statement that “the dirtiest trick that governments play on their citizens is the pretense that they are working on ‘clean coal.'”
Strong words, but it makes sense, right? Apparently, Hansen was pretty far out there by suggesting this. Just how bad were these comments? Tell us, why is he so wrong??
The comments are shocking, Morano points out, because coal is one of the greatest liberators of mankind in the history of the planet. “If you look back in time, carbon-based energy has brought lower infant mortality, longer life expectancy, modern infrastructure, running water, electricity,” he notes. “It’s brought modern dentistry; it’s brought a whole host of medical advances.”
Great, so we should keep destroying our environment for the sake of teeth. Clean coal is pretty amazing technology…
Wasn’t that fun? It actually took a while to compile just one article per day, but I am happy to contribute to the wide world of debunking and mocking propaganda!