America, America, God shed his guilt on thee!

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I’m back!  I’m relaxed.  I’m set to graduate with my Master’s.  Most importantly, I’m ready to get back to regular blogging!

So check out this brochure that I was handed at yesterday’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Des Moines.


Seems like it’s going to be this great message about America?  Well, maybe not.  The crumbling flag at the bottom is a bit foreboding.  Let’s see what is inside…

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So there are all these bad things in America.  Health care is going up.  Natural disasters are happening.  Let’s take a look at all the SIN!

Adultery: Happens a lot.

Fornication: Happens a lot.  Technically, adultery is a form of fornication, but I think they just wanted an excuse to talk about herpes.  By the way, I’m proud to be a fornicator, but if you believe the nonsense in this brochure, you will have to just get over it.

Rape: Happens, unfortunately.  It is truly sad.  I bet they could have done better than statistics from 1993.

Pornography: Ooh, more great numbers from over 10 years ago.  I’m not sure what the significance of this is, but there it is.

Abortion: Wow, about 40 million legal abortions.  Come on, propagandist brochure, you can do better than the late 90s!  The 00’s are almost over!

Theft: Yeah, it happens too.

Greed: Data from Focus on the Family: that’s going to be good!  People are going to casinos.

Let’s see what else is in here…

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Murder: Man, why are they still handing out this outdated brochure?  I suppose they weren’t interested in any correlations between murder and gun ownership.

Drunkenness: Alcoholism is a disease.

Hypocrisy: Everybody lies.  But then again, House might not have been on TV at the time this brochure as made.

“We don’t seem to be doing too well.”  Well, someone’s a cynic.  How do we know if coffee and hot dogs cause cancer?  We have to do scientific research to figure that out.  I can see why someone wouldn’t want that, since answers destroy delusions, even those most intimidating.

Pestilence?  I’m sure I could easily find some devout Christian agricultural majors who would laugh at such a claim.  I can’t offend a god I don’t believe in.

Do people really follow traffic laws because they believe in God?  And what’s up with this: “…there is a way to avert the pathetic sight of children with cancer, more terrible disasters, and other horrible diseases from further flooding this nation.”  You should seek God’s healing so you can ignore all the problems of the world?  Take no responsibility for them?  Let’s see if the back page has any answers.

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The answer is in my hands.  I assume this is a pun since I’m holding the brochure that is supposed to give me the answers.  Let’s see what its answers for me are.

I have lied, so I am a liar.  I guess if illegally downloaded music counts, I have stolen, so I am a thief.  I’ve never desired to hurt or kill anyone, but simply by hating, I am apparently a murderer.  I’ve never looked upon a woman to lust after her, so I guess I’m doing okay there.  God’s definitely not first in my affections, since he doesn’t even exist to me.  Blahdy blahdy blah, I have apparently sinned against God.

I will be damned forever.  I will lose my soul.  I will go to Hell.  I will perish.  I will never seek God’s mercy.  Justice will be done.  I will be punished.

I can’t clean up my life.  I can’t wash away my sins.  I can’t heal, and neither can America.  It’s not just good enough for me to care about America, or the children of America, because I don’t care about my eternal salvation and am not turning away from others call my “sins.”  I’m like a man who can’t apologize for his wife for committing adultery (good thing I came out before I let that happen).

… (sarcastic pause)

Wow.  Why would this ever make me want to care about Christ.  Talk about intimidation to the max.

Should I be surprised that Living Waters Publications is connected to The Way of the Master, which is headed by Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort?  No.  This stuff is crap, and it scares me how many people are intimidated into conforming to this ridiculous set of beliefs.

Don’t go to those sites unless you want a headache.  In the meantime, Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  You’re going to hell.  See you there!

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