Three Poems for a Weekend Away

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My long weekend at the ACPA conference added to a lot of reflection I’ve been doing. Though I don’t think it would be fruitful to reveal personal details about my personal life on this blog, I do think I need to blog about some of my feelings and experiences.  If my goal is to motivate and relate to others interested in social justice work, then simply writing about the “what” won’t be very helpful.

On my plane ride home today, I wrote three freeform poems that I think go together.  I share them here with you.  Take from them what you will.

Three Poems for a Weekend Away
ZackFord – April 1, 2009

Departure

I now leave that temporary haven
My recluse of love and friendship
That reminds me who I am

and what I am.

I return to a place called “home”
If only because it’s where I live
But there my heart suffers

and my soul is weak.

Change is coming crucially.
Refreshed and renewed I wonder
Will the change show a place for me?

or are such havens inconsistent?

I look to the future of uncertainty
And wonder if I can be and be happy
And wonder if I can be happy

and wonder why I’m not.

I have loved.
I have been loved.
I have found love.
I have lost love.

I am searching.

Home

Home is safe.
Some are so damn lucky.
No looking for it.
No pining for it.
No dreaming or imagining it.
It’s always there—ready and waiting.

Home is being yourself.
Not thinking.
Not wondering.
Not trying.
Not worrying.
It’s love and peace and joy.
It’s understanding.

Home is somewhere.
Home is lost.
I have felt at home.
But then it slips away again.

Why must I look?
Why must I pine?
Why must I dream?
Where is home?

Tricked again…

or I’m already there.

Refreshed

I know now.
I had a hypothesis
And the validation is refreshing.

What’s next?

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