Well, yesterday was a fluke. The AFA Action Alert emails are back to being ridiculous. Today’s is too good, so I needed a full post just to tear it apart.
The headline was:
ObamaCare will put Planned Parenthood clinics inside your child’s school
Well, I think it’s ridiculous enough. I mean, were they not listening last night when Obama clearly said:
And one more misunderstanding I want to clear up – under our plan, no federal dollars will be used to fund abortions, and federal conscience laws will remain in place.
Since teabaggers don’t believe anything Obama says, it’s no surprise that part of his speech went unheralded. Anyways, tell us more about this impending atrocity, AFA…
Yes, you read that right. Under an innocuous-sounding section titled “School-Based Health Clinics,” H.R. 3200 will authorize Planned Parenthood, as a “sponsoring facility,” to run a clinic during school hours on the grounds of public schools, with absolutely no accountability either to parents or school administrators.
Clinics would be accountable only to the Secretary of Health & Human Services, the radically pro-abortion Kathleen Sebelius, who was a fervent supporter of late-term abortionist George Tiller.
I can see it now… Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, may I be excused to the school nurse. It’s time for my abortion appointment. Seriously, these people will believe anything. And nobody is pro-abortion. People are just not anti-choice.
All this will be done at taxpayer expense. And unlike the rest of the bill, which isn’t slated to go into effect until 2013, these clinics are scheduled to go into schools next fall.
Oh no! Next fall! No wonder this is so urgent! We need to start emailing our congressmen and senators immediately!!
Okay, but here’s the best part…
As you know, Planned Parenthood is the nation’s largest abortion provider and the most dangerous purveyor of the mythical “safe sex” message which has deprived so many American teens of their sexual innocence and left them with diseases and unwanted pregnancies.
That’s right. There is no such thing as safe sex (obviously that’s why they put it in quotes). There is such a thing as “sexual innocence.” And obviously, having sex even just one time will lead to tons of STIs and pregnancies.
Maybe we should all just take a lesson from Quinn and the Celibacy Club girls on Glee:
“If the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry.”
I think I liked Rachel’s approach better…