Friday Fundamentalist Farce File #8

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I haven’t done one of these in a while! (They’re a lot of work!) With all the teabagging and heckling going on this week, I thought I’d take a look at what our good friends at OneNewsNow and WorldNetDaily have been posting about. It’s the Farce File special back-to-school edition!

Friday Fundamentalist Farce File

blog-bullet 9/12/09 – Christian attorneys defend First Amendment at schools

Alliance Defense Fund (ADF) is expanding its program to declare college and university campuses free-speech zones.

Umm… have they never heard of academic freedom? It’s usually these people who are trying to limit academic freedom on their “affiliated” campuses.

ADF attorney David French contends there is a lack of free speech on the campuses. In fact, he says about 70 percent have policies that violate the Constitution.

Like……? The article doesn’t really specify.

A lot of campus have designated “free speech zones” so that those wishing to speak out have a place to do so without disturbing the functioning of the campus. Maybe that’s not good enough? Maybe they’re talking Intelligent Design? Who knows?

Conclusion: Liberal hate mongering! “Christian students and professors are being censored! Really! I promise! I’m not making this up just to alienate you from any aspect of our society that is progressive or isn’t pro-Christian enough for us to tolerate… We wouldn’t do that…”

blog-bullet 9/13/09 – Obama school-safety’ chief: How to jam homosexuality

This is part of WND’s “Czar Wars” feature. Apparently they had no problem with Bush’s 47 Czars, but anything Obama does is bad. This article isn’t even about a Czar, but it still counts apparently.

This article is about Kevin Jennings, assistant deputy secretary for the office of Safe & Drug Free Schools. You might remember him for his amazing work founding and directing the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network, which, as WND accurately quotes, “works to make schools safe for all students, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.” Those GSA’s in high schools across the country? They probably wouldn’t be there without GLSEN. National Day of Silence? You get the picture.

I don’t know what “revelations” are really in this article. It sounds more like hamster wheel-spinning…

In the speech, Jennings described how he was concerned about being described as promoting homosexuality, so he chose to campaign on the idea of “safety” instead.

“If the radical right can succeed in portraying us as preying on children, we will lose. Their language – ‘promoting homosexuality’ is one example – is laced with subtle and not-so-subtle innuendo that we are ‘after their kids,'” he told the conference.

Well, yeah. Extremists think we want 1st graders to learn about S&M and don’t care if their kids discriminate and bully. So, Jennings wanted to make sure the conversation is actually about what the conversation is about. HOW HORRID.

Jennings strategy was so successful that his state’s governor’s “Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth” has brought homosexuality programs into schools throughout the state.

According to the MassResistance website, now parents are “astounded” that homosexual assemblies, plays, clubs, counseling sessions, book, and other celebrations of a sexual lifestyle are for “safety.”

I guess they weren’t sure where that apostrophe should go so they left it out.

“Homosexuality programs.” I guess that’s all they need to hear, even if they don’t know what it means.

blog-bullet 9/14/09 – Bible ban case may go to Supreme Court

“They had a week where the child in the kindergarten class could read their favorite book — and his favorite book was the Bible, and she wanted to read a few passages from the Psalms,” Whitehead explains. “It wasn’t anything about Jesus or whatever. It was one of those Psalms that talks about God, but it’s not overtly religious.

Read that again, make sure you got it. Talking about God is not overtly religious. But guess what is?

Busch went to the school on the scheduled day, but ran into a problem upon arriving. “The principal actually met her at the school door, knew she was coming, and said she couldn’t bring the Bible in the school,” he says. “But [the principal] said they could go ahead and read from another book, a Halloween book — which many people consider Halloween a religious holiday because it deals with spirits and ghosts — but you couldn’t read from the Bible.”

Yes, because so many kindergartners are worshiping and building worldviews around Casper and the Headless Horseman.

Let’s get to the Victim meme

…religion should never be found in an American public school.

That’s more or less what should be said. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the full context…

Whitehead adds that kind of hostility toward religion should never be found in an American public school.

Such hypocrites… they say “No,” to just about everything, but they don’t know how to handle when it’s said to them.

blog-bullet 9/15/09 – Obama asked to apologize for ‘lies to entire country’

The first half of this article is of course defending Joe Wilson. Apparently OneNewsNow didn’t want WorldNetDaily to have all the glory of praising bad manners. Blah, who cares.

“More important than whether Congressman Wilson was rude or not is the fact that when the president of the United States lies to the entire country — as Obama did when he made the incorrect claim that his reform legislation would not benefit illegal aliens — then that’s a much more serious thing,” he contends. “And that is why ALIPAC is calling on the president to apologize to the nation.”

Notice how there’s no information. This is just another person saying, “You Lie,” without any evidence to support it. Well, there’s evidence, but it has the opposite effect.

Now, you might think a group called “Americans for Legal Immigration” would be a group that wants to make it easier for people to enter our country legally, since one of the big reasons we have an illegal immigration problem is because of how inefficient naturalization laws are. But no. In fact, I don’t think there is anything as unAmerican as this PAC. This banner from their homepage sums it up nicely:


Help ALIPAC stop Amnesty.” It doesn’t get more greedy or racist than that, now does it?

blog-bullet 9/16/09 – Ann Coulter: Liberal lies about health care: Joe Wilson edition!

Now, I don’t want to spend too much time on anything Ann Coulter has to say, but I couldn’t not highlight this one. Coulter knew it was great, because she said it twice to complement her uncreative writing style:

But as Obama ticked off one demonstrably false claim after another – eliciting 37 standing ovations from the Democrats in the audience – America’s greatest living statesman, Rep. Joe Wilson, R-S.C., yelled out, “You lie!” in response to Obama’s claim that the bill will not cover illegal aliens.

There are a number of theories about why America’s greatest living statesman shouted “You lie!” at that juncture, but mine is that Wilson said it because Obama told a big, fat, stinking lie.

She goes on to defend white people from accusations of racism, accuse anybody and everybody for encouraging illegal immigration, and then lots of unhumanitarian vitriol suggesting essentially that noncitizens should have n0 access to medical care. It’s the usual bullshit.

But yeah, Joe Wilson is American’s greatest living statesman. Apparently all it takes is being an ignorant asshole!

blog-bullet 9/17/09 – Congress expanding ‘gay’ protections in classrooms

It’s variations on a theme this week! First it was “homosexual programs,” now it’s “‘gay’ protections.” Why ‘gay’ protections? They’re not really gay, they’re just “gay.” (They’re actually trans too!)

She described the “Safe Schools Improvement Act,” and said, “Despite its innocuous-sound title, this bill would actually promote the acceptance of homosexuality and gender confusion in schools.

They sure love that Children meme. Because promoting acceptance is bad for our young people. You knew that right?

Surprisingly, the paragraph in which the article actually describes the bill is totally accurate:

The bill itself defines “bullying” as whatever “adversely affects the ability of one or more students to participate in or benefit from the school’s educational programs or activities by placing the student (or students) in reasonable fear of physical harm” and involves conduct based on “a student’s actual or perceived race, color, national origin, sex, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, or religion.”

Doesn’t it just sound horrible?

“The very real problem of bullying is being exploited to convince the public that pro-homosexual proselytizing belongs in public schools. Don’t buy it. Schools can address bullying without ever mentioning deviant sexual conduct,” she said.

Any kid being picked on for being gay is clearly a sexual deviant. Any kid doing the bullying does not need to be taught anything about why picking on a kid for being gay is wrong. I’m assuming this means Brandon McInerney is their hero for shooting Lawrence King. Like Bill O’Reilly said just last night, “If you are a religious person, you don’t want someone telling your child it’s OK to be gay.”

They are so compassionate.

blog-bullet 9/18/09 – Educators excused in ACLU prayer case

The excuses these people use are pathetic. Above we saw that talking about God was hardly religious. Now prayer’s okay because it was “spontaneous.” First, here’s what happened last week:

According to the settlement [with the ACLU], all school employees are banned from engaging in prayer or religious activities before, during, or after school hours. Now two school officials are facing criminal charges for offering meal-time prayers at an appreciation dinner for adults who had helped with a school field house project. Principal Frank Lay and athletic director Robert Freeman are scheduled to go on trial next month on criminal contempt charges. If convicted, both are subject to fines and imprisonment.

So the school has a history of promoting religion (the ACLU suit was last year). Now two school officials clearly were promoting religion during a school-sponsored luncheon. And what’s the verdict?

Judge M. Case Rodgers ruled Thursday that Pace High School principal Frank Lay and athletic director Robert Freeman did not violate an agreement with the American Civil Liberties Union that was approved by the court. Rodgers said the prayer at a field house dedication during the school day was spontaneous, and there was seemingly no intent to violate the order.

But your honor, I didn’t intend to KILL him; I just thought he’d look better with his head blown off.

It was inappropriate and there were prior concerns. I can’t believe that a judge would just say, “Oh, no big deal.”

How will people learn?

That’s another Farce File! Have a great weekend!

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