Some Unemployment Poetry

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Man, I love this economy! It’s so great to have two professional degrees and be unable to secure a relevant job! It makes me feel like a real winner!

I’m actually not very happy.

Here are a few poems I wrote this week to cheer myself up. Enjoy.

Some Unemployment Poetry
Zack Ford – September 3, 2009

Ode to an Unemployed Atheist

Until I see proof
There is no job.

Ode to an Unemployed Old-School Nerd

And now that I have plunged the toilet
I search about for fireflowers’ growth
And hope it’s soon my turn to save the world.

Ode to an Unemployed Homosexual

Damn!
I need
a job now
so I have a
good excuse to not
go to Washington for
the horribly organized
National Equality March.

Ode to an Unemployed Sci-Fi Nerd

Another employer hasn’t gotten back to me…
What the frak? Gorram it!
On the bright side, I’m not Cylon or Borg.

Then again, if I were Cylon or Borg,
I’d have a plan and resistance would be futile.

Engage.

Ode to an Unemployed Student Affairs Professional

Unemployment sucks
What do you have to say now
Chickering’s Vectors?

Ode to an Unemployed Amateur Blogger

I have time to work on my blog!
I have pride in my project!
I have no money for health insurance!
Republicans are stupid!

Ode to an Unemployed ZackFord

Zack really wants a job in higher ed.
Already, he’s had several on-campus interviews.
Comb through his résumé; he’s highly qualified.
Kindness, perseverance, and intellect are among his many attributes.
For this position, you can really do no better.
Of course he can start right away!
Really, how can you even hesitate?
Do it now! Zack is waiting to hear from you!

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