I Think ManRoulette Saved My Soul


(Note: I notice that months later, this post still gets a lot of hits, but I’m not sure how people are feeling about it. I just thought I’d put this disclaimer up that this post was written on April 1st, and there’s an important follow-up post from the following day. Enjoy!)

So last night, I was killing some time on Manroulette. It’s like Chatroulette, except everyone knows what’s up. (And no, it’s not all penises, it’s just gay men, which I think makes me like it more.)

And all of a sudden this guy comes on without a cam and starts talking to me. Here’s how the conversation started:

Stranger: allahu
Stranger: akbar
You: helllo
Stranger: repent
You: to whom?
Stranger: allahu
You: who’s that?
Stranger: god
You: oh, I’ve never met him
Stranger: smart alec
Stranger: thats a sin too
You: *atheist
Stranger: atheism is weak
You: atheism is rational
Stranger: then why are you one?
You: cuz I’m rational

This was the normal kind of friendly joking I like to do with believers, especially anonymous ones evangelizing to me. We debated the sinfulness of his being gay; he said he’s not gay—”a hole is a hole”—and that he knows “the loopholes of quran.”

He went on to point out that “as an atheist you deny your inner child” and “you’re too proud to admit what is comforting” AND “no one will love you as much as god.”

And you know what, he was starting to make some sense.

Being an atheist does make me feel too serious about life sometimes and it can be lonely.

He then asked me about an afterlife, and asked why I bother to live if I don’t believe in one. If I’m going to forget everything, then why is any of this important?

And you know what? The closet-case Muslim is right.

Starting today I’m going to stop identifying myself as an atheist.

I’m not sure what I believe, but life is just too short to go on believing nothing. I mean, really, what IS the point of life if not to live for god, whoever that god might be?

I’m still figuring this all out, but I welcome your comments and thoughts. Obviously, this is going to send the blog in a different direction… maybe even end it. Tell me what you think and help me through this revelation.

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There are 12 Comments to "I Think ManRoulette Saved My Soul"

  • Marc says:

    I stand corrected.  I no longer wish you hugs.

  • Mr. David M. Beyer says:

    Were you to say this one day earlier or one day later, I might be stunned!

  • Buffy says:

    I have to wonder if any of these fools have actually “saved” anyone by trolling around GLBTQ chatrooms, boards, etc.   They seem to think they’re doing some sort of public service when they’re merely being a huge nuisance.

  • John says:

    Regarding the question: “Why should I bother to live if I don’t believe in an afterlife?”

    Watch the PBS series “Cosmos.” (it is available on instant view on netflix) You may find your answer.

    Atheism is by definition pointless– it’s just the absence of belief. If you feel the need to believe in something beyond your own individual existence, try the very real and awe-inspiring universe in which we live, and our development as an intelligent species.

  • Jack says:

    Eat some Psilocybin mushrooms.

  • Jack says:

    p.s……but also watch “Cosmos”.

  • Ben says:

    i was reading this particular line again and again..
    ..he said he’s not gay—”a hole is a hole”—and that he knows “the loopholes of quran.”

    religion is basically a guide to teach how to live a meaningful life.. even if you are atheist, as long you live a meaningful life, i see nothing wrong being atheist.

    well this “stranger” seems like not honest being a loyal for his religion by saying he knows the loopholes… hypocrite, stop being one and shut your holes tight instead “stranger”..

    Ben @ manroulettecam.com

  • Hi says:

    there’s plenty of LGBT muslims… who cares what other people think they are not living your life. Go search! and find your truth and sometimes you have to be lost before you are found. Good luck and blessings on your journey.

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