If You Work Against Us, We Don’t Care If You Like Us

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As we await the decision, I thought I’d write a little piece about David Blankenhorn. You might remember him as the “star” witness in the Prop 8 trial supporting Prop 8.

Blankenhorn is a cry-baby-sissy-pants. He claims this week that he’s been unfairly targeted for his anti-gay views:

“I’m losing friends, being told I’m on the wrong side of history, I’m like Bull Connor,” he said, referring to the top Birmingham, Alabama law enforcement official who in the 1960s used police dogs and fire hoses to attack pro-integration protesters. Blankenhorn has been mocked in the gay blogosphere.

“This is the single worst experience I have had in my public life,” he said of joining the debate over same-sex marriage. “I dreaded getting into it… I tried to avoid it for a long time. I feel like the issue hunted me down.”

If you can recognize that you are comparable to Bull Connor for your actions, where do you get off asking for sympathy? I didn’t hear any apology.

The aspect I found most galling about Blankenhorn’s remarks is this attempt to reach a hand out in pseudo-friendship with passive-aggressive umbrage:

“I just think you’ve got to be careful when you seek to deduce a person’s, when you seek to deduce homophobia or anti-gay views from a person’s policy position,” he said. “It can be a real act of hubris.”

This is what Blankenhorn must “wrestle with,” he said, to distinguish between himself and those who dislike homosexuals. When he has spoken to groups made up of such people, he tells them he does not share their anti-gay views.

Oh, so you like us?

Honestly, why should that matter?

Here’s the thing… you either understand the whole “being gay” thing or you don’t. If you understand, then you support gay rights. If you don’t understand, then you oppose gay rights. That might seem a bit boilerplate, but it’s the truth. It doesn’t matter if you like us. It only matters if your head is screwed on tight.

If you like us, great! Then you shouldn’t be working against us. If you’re working against us, that means you don’t understand us (or you refuse to). If you claim to like us, then you should work harder to understand us. You should take time to listen. You should respect the plethora of research from mainstream social science organizations (APA, etc.). You should care more about the lives we lead than the artificially constructed values you “put before the horse.”

David Blankenhorn wants to be right and to be liked. He’s currently neither. Distinguishing himself from Maggie Gallagher or James Dobson doesn’t make a difference. He’s still wrong about our lives and he is still working against our equality. The distinctions he makes in a plea for sympathy are moot and a bit pathetic.

Honestly, he and Tony Hayward should hang out. Maybe they can help each other get their lives back.

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There are 3 Comments to "If You Work Against Us, We Don’t Care If You Like Us"

  • Mary Kate says:

    This is an issue that I think taps into many, many social conservatives perceptions of how they view people in the gay community. “Its not that I don’t like you….I don’t like your actions”. Like you said, it is essentially a refusal to understand those who are gay. I think it is very important because these people literally don’t see how big an obstacle this really is to their relationships with gay friends (and by extension of their views how it affects policy). They think that as long as they ‘like’ or ‘care’ about the other person, they can continue to hold their views with consciences intact. They think they’ve got things figured out; its my hope that experience and actual discussions/research can help them understand and change….even though some may never open up to understanding.

  • Buffy says:

    Funny, I don’t hear David Duke whining about how people won’t be his friend any more because of how he’s a raving bigot. Simple fact-if you preach intolerance, and especially if you make a living working to deny civil rights to others, you can’t expect the targets of your hatred to be your friends. Furthermore, you are not being persecuted when people you work to harm refuse to befriend you. Either stop being an a-hole or grow a pair.

  • Joe says:

    If I were to say “I like black people, i just think white people are better,” should I be surprised if people took offense to that? If someone says “I like gay people, I just think straight people are more important,” should anyone be surprised if people took offense to that?

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