I wrote back in December about Stefon, the eccentric club promoter played by Bill Hader who appears on SNL’s Weekend Update from time to time. I want to continue cataloging his interesting ideas, but first want to offer a correction of sorts.
I’ve referred to Stefon as gay before, and I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate. I think part of his eccentricity does play into gay stereotype, but his actual orientation seems to be a bit more ambiguous than that. In his Christmas appearance, he tells Snooki he has a girlfriend, and in last night’s Valentine’s appearance, he alluded to having dated girls before. Of course, he also hit on Seth (You should probably break up with her and do like a total 180 or something.). At any rate, his orientation has more of a Pat-like ambiguity (bi? pan? who knows?), so my apologies for playing into the assumption that he’s just gay.
It also seems to me that the SNL writers know I’m out here trying to interpret everything Stefon says. In last night’s sketch, they spell out one of the club names just before offering an unspellable club name. So to all you SNL writers: it’s not fair to tease when everything else you write is so unfunny.
In this unique appearance, Stefon sings “O Christmas Tree” with Gov. Patterson and Snooki. Here are the Stefon treasures we get:
» To Snooki: “This is fun, drunk leopard.”
» ????: “When jacked elves have like the pony keg chest and they bang their little baby hammer, sparks happen, and it’s just amazing…”
» In response to Snooki’s offer to smush: “I have a girlfriend. Sorry.”
First club: Booooooooof
» Located in an abandoned orphanage on the lower lower East side of Chelsea.
» Round-the-clock puke party.
» Narcoleptic club owner: Snoozin’ Lucci.
» Doo-wop groups.
» A wise old turtle that looks like Quincy Jones.
» Gizblo, the coked-up Gremlin. “I’ll have what she’s having!”
Second club: HuYiKoSiYoVoHo!!
» Built on a dare.
» Club promoter: 90-year-old Fuji Howser, MD.
» Stun guns.
» Mole people.
» Freezing cold air.
» 12 dancing Jewpids (Jewish Cupids). “I just want you to meet someone nice and settle down!”
Romantic Valentine’s Day Gift:
» Human suitcase. (“When a midget on roller skates wears all of your clothes and then you pull them through an airport.”)
Seth’s Assessment: “Maybe just for tonight, and just for tonight, you can be my Valentine. I guess I got struck by Jewpid’s Arrow.”